Friday, May 30, 2008

OMG, I'm under the influence and gettin' risky...

Did you know that energy drinks lead to risky and aggressive behavior including unprotected sex, substance abuse and violence?

No wonder I'm overwhelmingly drawn to those nasty 'ol Darwin lover websites! I'm under the influence of a substance known to cause risky behavior!! Why else would I subject myself to the potential risk of losing all sense of logic and rational thought due to the influence of those folks??! My gosh, I've gotta find a 12 step program or I could be converted to Darwinism and be lookin' at eternal life in the fiery depths of hell!!!!!

I'm not kidding. Check out this article on energy drinks.

Aggressive Behavior? Check. I'm constantly surfin' the Darwin sites looking for someone to chew up and spit out.

Unprotected Sex? Check. Lots of it.

Substance Abuse? Check. ENERGY DRINKS in high quantity.

Violence? Check. I frequently want to beat the crap out of my boys when they get mouthy, and you know what the Bible says...if you even think about it, you've committed the act!

I have this sudden urge to run out and get a tattoo on my ass...