So here it is....
The above post may contain an attempt at humour. Tongue may have been applied to cheek and salt may have to be pinched. Some of the sentiments are serious however. Caution: May involve thinking.[my emphasis]
Boy....convincing. When I find time, I’ll have to pull up a string of his other “humorous” “sentiments”. Nauseating stuff. Evidently no one should take offense because, after all, he's just "joking".
One of the other posters in the conversation wanted to be sure that I saw his post which was meant to ridicule my religious beliefs:
did he [Jesus] or did he not?
do note that if he did not [masturbate], he was very likely the only adult male E-V-A-R to pass through adolescence without punching the monk. Add to that he was (as your mythology demands) celibate, and you have one seriously repressed dude. i bet you couldn't sleep within ten feet of him at night because of all the man-na falling about.
makes you wonder if you can really call that 'fully human', eh, luv?
Damn. I forgot to you that he can be fully human and fully god at the same time, while also fully neither. Your world is great!
I am anxiously (bated breath) awaiting your pronouncement upon the greatest mystery of our time, did Our Lard and Savior beat his meat, or not.
And, then...oddly enough, the poster who was ticked off at me for me not adding the PS to his post, adds the following in regard to the post above.
I reckon Jesus flogged the dolphin. My guess would be that if Jesus-El-Savior-Christ even existed he wrestled the one-eyed champion.
You hear what I'm saying FTK? I reckon Jesus beat his meat, yanked his crank, relaxed in a gentleman's way, choked the chicken, said hello to Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters (also works in French btw), vixen, se bronler, whacked off, throttled the banana, tugged the tummy truncheon, threw the spam javelin, went to see Palmela Handerson, made out with his fingered fiancee, flogged the log, stroked the cat, waxed the weasel, bashed the bishop, had a bout of hand to gland combat, performed a solo on the belly banjo, strummed his one string man guitar, beat the blue veined champion, wrestled the purple headed womb ferret, teased John Thomas, did hand pressups on his solo gym until he coughed his filthy yoghurt, went to his special place, cracked one off, knocked one out, treated himself to dinner and a movie, had a Jodrell Bank, a J Arthur Rank, a Barclays, and quite possibly a Sherman Tank, he waxed his pink surfboard of love, he played a private song on his iWang, he played one handed pocket billiards with his man's best friend until man fat erupted from his Herman Gelmet, he spanked the monkey up to the point where chopper custard flew in ropey strings from the hog's eye in his bell end, basically put, with no equivocation whatsoever, if Jesus existed he masturbated. Probably over Mary Magdalene's tits.*
Good enough for you?
*Apologies. These are all I could remember at short notice. Please help me with any I have forgotten.
There are endless examples of religion bashing I could share, so I don’t know why they are accusing me of being dishonest.