Monday, May 28, 2007

Okay, I have a plan...

I'm gonna charter a bus and make my way to the new Creation Museum.

I was going to fire up the hippy van to make the trip, but then decided I need something much bigger to make room for a whole bunch of evilutionists!

We need something very unique to traipse across the nation in, and I think I've found the perfect vehicle that would be enticing to the inner souls of my atheist/evolutionist friends. Check it out!

I’ll load the back of that sucker with a variety of yummy alcoholic beverages and keep the gang lit the entire time so they stay happy and don’t cry mutiny or have a change of heart about the tour and attempt to jump ship.

Richard Hughes and Kristine are definitely on the A list of atheist evilutionists to invite along mainly for entertainment.

Kristine’s an accomplished belly dancer and a witch to boot! She even recently hung out with Richard Dawkin’s on her trip the Galapagos Islands...check it out!

Richard Hughes is a DaveScot impersonator and evidently a warlock in his spare time. I like his sense of humor so he gets to ride up top with me and keep me laughing rather than thinking about the insanity of driving across the nation with a bus full of evilutionists.

If KSU Dave goes along for the ride, I’ll have to keep him hooked up with some sedatives cuz he’s so darn mean. He’s one of those who feels that the only way to deal with “creationists” is to “ridicule, or perhaps pity" them. Nice guy, that one. If Jeremy is still around, he can certainly go...he’s cool.

Hmmm...who else? I guess we could make a special cage for PZ Myers and let him tag along, but I don’t want him milling around the bus on his own because he might get carried away with the pirate theme and unleash on me.

Oh, and Wesley Elsberry can come along for the ride and play his guitar...

Hopefully, he’ll play some soothing hymns about creation to keep us all calm...whoops, that may not be appropriate for this particular trip. Does the Flying Spaghetti Monster have a theme song?

Hey! Christopher Hitchens would certainly be an appropriate choice for the bus bartender....

And, I have the perfect captain/driver for the trip...DaveScot! Dave & PZ on the same trip just doesn’t get better than that. Dave will also be the keeper of the key to PZ's cage. But, just in case Kristine decides to put a spell on Dave or lure him away from his duties with her feminine wiles, we better be sure he brings his dogs! That way, while Kristine is springing PZ free and Dave is under her spell, I'll call out the dogs to fetch back my key and chase PZ back to his cage!

Gosh, I better have a few other backup plans in case that occurs because if he escapes, I’m sure mutiny will occur and I’ll be walking the plank.

I know none of you will want to miss out on the ride, so sign up soon while there are still seats available!!!

[Note to PZ just in case you ever get a glimmer of this post: I'm totally joking around, and I actually love you to death so I wouldn't put you in a cage. don't hurt me. Please.]