Conservatives for reasons too numerous to mention are depressed, but there are some bright spots.
Will there be protests now at the White House? Against whom will college students spill their venom? Will they become well-mannered now and proceed to the White House respectfully, like ladies and gentlemen?
And what about their professors? How will they invigorate their class discussions centered on the eternal verities regarding race-class-gender without the jumping-off point about the Bush regime? What about training teachers in social justice? How will education schools train teachers to make their charges aware of the social injustice poisoning this country that emanates straight from the Capitol? Toward what power will students be taught to apply their “critical thinking” skills? Will the hegemony be dissolved, thereby ending 95% of the scholarship now produced?
What about creative writing forums? What will be the subject of poetry now? Can the resident long-haired creative writing professor introducing the poets at a reading say only good things about the president without getting boring? How will students prop up their self-esteem without asserting their intellectual superiority to the president of the United States? What outrages will students dramatize in plays? What about interpretive dances? How will over-mascara-ed, banjo-playing girl bands gain their creds of bravery without saying from a foreign stage that they are “ashamed” to be from the same state as their president?
What will happen to calendar manufacturers who rely on secretaries in humanities departments to display their keen wit by positioning the “Bushism-A-Day” calendars toward every student seeking a drop/add slip? What will professors post outside their office doors? Can they keep their “U.S. Out of Iraq Now” posters up? And what will they write their scholarly papers on? Once wealth is redistributed by a black president who is a favorite of feminists, what will be the focus of their papers? What will happen to the scholarly publishing industry? What about the bumper sticker business? What kinds of stickers will replace those festooning bumpers in faculty parking lots across the nation about a village in Texas missing its “idiot”?
What about the pundits? We all know that agreeable copy does not sell. So where will they get their raw material?
I'm sure they'll find something to moan about....